Creating the power of now is not just acting on a whim at every moment. It is learning to seize the opportunity at the time it is happening. Many times, your emotions interfere with this action—for example, fear of failure or rejection. Don’t let uncertainty dictate your effort, performance, or behavior.

Here is how to develop the power to seize the now.

1. Mindfulness as Your Anchor:

• Ground Yourself in the Now: Practice mindfulness to anchor yourself in the present. Pay attention to your senses, surroundings, and thoughts without judgment. This helps you appreciate the richness of each moment.
• Savor Simple Joys: Take time to notice the small pleasures in life – the sun’s warmth on your face, the taste of your morning coffee, the sound of birds singing. Mindfulness can magnify these experiences.
• Understand that this moment will not exist again—act according to what you want to do.

2. Goal Setting with Intention:

• Define Your Purpose: What truly matters to you? Identify your values and long-term goals. These will guide your daily actions and choices.
• Set SMART Goals: Make your goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. This makes them less intimidating and more actionable.
• Break it Down: Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. This produces a sense of progress and prevents you from feeling overwhelmed and taking action.

3. Embrace the “Growth Mindset”:

• Challenge Yourself: Go outside your comfort zone regularly. Learning new skills and tackling unfamiliar tasks expands your capabilities and keeps life interesting.
• Be uncomfortable: Learning to be uncomfortable results in making you comfortable. This lesson teaches you to relax your emotions and understand the present time without fear and anxiety, enabling confidence.
• View Mistakes as Lessons: Don’t fear failure. Every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. Simply understand what went wrong and use that knowledge to improve.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and appreciate your accomplishments, no matter how minor they may seem. This reinforces positive behavior and fuels motivation.

4. Prioritize Experiences over Things:

• Create Memories: Invest in experiences that bring you joy – travel, concerts, hikes, time with loved ones. These experiences create lasting memories and enrich your life in ways material possessions often can’t.
• Give Back: Volunteer your time or donate to causes you believe in. Helping others benefits them and brings a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose to your life.

5. Nurture Your Relationships:

• Connect Authentically: Spend quality time with people who uplift and inspire you. Engage in meaningful conversations, share experiences, and offer support.
• Cultivate Gratitude: Express appreciation for the people in your life. Let them know how much they mean to you.

6. Practice Self-Care:

• Listen to Your Body: Get enough sleep, eat nourishing foods, and exercise regularly. Caring for your physical health is vital for mental clarity and overall well-being. It helps you to feel energetic and well. This helps to motivate your actions and be proactive versus being tired and closed-minded and blowing it off.
• Manage Stress: Discover healthy ways to manage stress. This can be meditation, spending time in nature, or pursuing creative outlets that relax anxiety and fear.
• Prioritize Rest: Allow yourself time to recharge and relax. Downtime is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for sustained energy and focus.

The Ripple Effect

Once you start seizing the day, prepare for a wave of positive changes throughout your life. You’ll develop a newfound sense of control and empowerment without fear.

This newfound self-belief spills over into all areas of your life, fostering better relationships, increased creativity, and a sense of purpose that fuels your drive not to worry about the outcome, just that you tried and will try again.

Seizing the day isn’t just about opportunity but completing tasks. It’s about cultivating a mindset or perspective that allows you to flourish in all aspects of life.

• Empowered Habits: Consistent action solidifies into productive habits that become second nature.
• Enhanced Decision-Making: Proactive behavior sharpens your ability to make timely, well-informed choices.
• Open Doors to Opportunity: By acting decisively, you’ll encounter opportunities you might have missed while hesitating.

The High Cost of Procrastination

I know what it is like to procrastinate. High school is challenging because you are pulled in many different directions daily. For instance, you attend various classes, learn about many subjects, interact with others, study, attend sports practice, and do homework. This is the perfect training to seize the day by learning to accomplish and not delay.

• Delaying tasks creates a vicious cycle. First, it throws stress onto your future self.
• Second, procrastination diminishes your experience and productivity.
• Third, procrastination steals chances and opportunities. Leaving you thinking of what could have been will never be.

Procrastination is the thief of time and accomplishment. The tendency or habit of putting off tasks until “tomorrow” sabotages your chance to seize opportunities and goals and hinders personal growth. Learning to seize the day will transform your mindset, perspective, and habits, leading to success and fulfillment.

Embrace the Power of “Now”

Cultivating a Carpe Diem requires conscious effort and a willingness to embrace the present moment’s uncertainties and possibilities. Don’t let emotions interfere by tainting the outcome with the possibility of failure. That will only hold you back.

Practicing seizing the now with little things will strengthen you for more significant opportunities as they manifest in your life. Remember, the things you do now may seem insignificant but have a greater purpose down the road.

Check out my book Eat to Win for weeks of nutritional plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And Blended Bliss if you love smoothies!

Check out my INSTANT STRENGTH book for total strength, speed, and power programs.

To maximize stability, mobility, and flexibility, check out my book, THE BALANCED BODY.

To see great exercises, methods, and techniques videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel, BALANCED BODY.

However, it’s crucial to understand that self-care is not selfish. It’s about preserving and improving our health and a necessary step towards enhancing our well-being and productivity. If we are at our best, we can be productive in life, work, and relationships rather than finding them draining.

What is Self-Care

The concept of self-care is about balance. It is not about some magical elixir or pill to save you. It is just simple and practical ideas for busy people like yourself to set healthy boundaries. By recognizing and meeting your own needs, you can show up as your best in all areas of life. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to care for others and handle life’s challenges effectively.

Self-care refers to the deliberate activities and practices you engage in to maintain and enhance your physical, mental, and emotional health. It encompasses actions from physical activities like exercise to mental practices such as mindfulness and emotional habits like expressing gratitude.

My Journey to Self-Care

My love for fitness is boundless. As a former fitness director, I thrived on designing training programs and watching people transform. The gym was my second home; its members were my extended family. My passion, sincerity, and genuine love for helping others fueled me.

But those very strengths became a double-edged sword. I consistently put others before myself. I wanted the gym to be its absolute best with programming. I ensured the gym was meeting every member’s needs, which meant endless hours at the desk, squeezing in training appointments into every corner of the day, and rarely saying no to anyone seeking my expertise. I poured my heart into my work, often exceeding 50 hours a week, with no overtime.

The toll on my energy was immense. Some days, I was too exhausted to exercise myself – a stark irony for someone in the fitness industry. While the work was gratifying, the imbalance was unsustainable. Important aspects of my life were sacrificed at the altar of helping others.

A Turning Point: The Power of “No”

Realizing I was headed for burnout, I learned the difficult art of saying “no” and setting boundaries. I didn’t reject people outright; instead, I established a structured schedule that prioritized my work commitments and personal needs. This meant dedicated time for my own workouts, meals, and rest.

Self-Care: A Shift in Perspective

Creating this balance wasn’t about grinding through self-care as just another task. It was about a fundamental shift in perspective. I learned to value my own well-being as much as I valued helping others.

Lessons Learned:

• Passion can lead to imbalance: While loving what you do is a gift, it can also blind you to the need for personal boundaries.
• “No” is a complete sentence: You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being.
• Self-care isn’t selfish: It’s essential for maintaining your energy and ability to show up for others.
• Schedules create structure: A clear plan can help you balance your commitments and avoid burnout.
• Changing your core is hard, but changing your process is possible: While my dedication to helping others remains unwavering, I’ve learned to channel it in a healthier way.

The Journey Continues

I still catch myself putting others first, and that’s okay. The difference is that I now have the tools to step back, reassess, and adjust my schedule as needed. I’m committed to practicing self-care not out of obligation but out of a genuine desire to nurture my own well-being.

In the end, it’s about finding harmony between helping others and helping yourself. By embracing self-care, I’ve discovered a sustainable path that allows me to continue sharing my passion for fitness while also honoring my own needs. And, most importantly not neglecting my family.

Benefits of Self-Care

Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s about refueling your own tank, so you have the energy and resilience to face those challenges challenging your health, depleting vitality, and wiping out wellness.

The benefit of self-care is to promote balance so your health and well-being do not suffer.

• Reduced stress and anxiety: Self-care activities can help you relax and manage stress levels.
• Improved physical health: Activities like exercise and healthy eating contribute to a stronger immune system and better overall health.
• Increased self-esteem: Taking time for yourself can boost your confidence and self-worth.
• Enhanced productivity and focus: You can work more efficiently and be creative when well-rested and recharged.
• Better relationships: Taking care of your own needs allows you to be more present and supportive in your relationships.

Practical Self-Care Ideas for Busy People

Integrating self-care into daily life can seem daunting for those with hectic schedules. However, small, consistent practices can make a significant impact. You don’t need hours of free time or a spa day to practice self-care.

For example, have a morning routine that does not require picking up your phone first. Start your day with a coffee and wake up. Or take a shower first. You can also take the time to do deep breathing exercises and mobility to set a positive tone for the day.

Here are some practical self-care ideas that busy individuals can quickly adopt:

1. Mindfulness Breaks- Take short, mindful breaks throughout the day. Every few hours, take a 5-minute break. Go stretch, take a walk, or just breathe deeply.
2. Healthy Eating- Plan and prepare simple, nutritious meals that fuel your body and mind.
3. Hydration- Keep a water bottle with you and ensure you stay hydrated throughout the day.
4. Prioritize Sleep– Go for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Avoid screen time two hours before bed to improve sleep quality. If you are tired, go to sleep.
5. Physical Activity- Add some physical activity to your day, whether it’s a walk during lunch or a workout session in the evening. If it is only 10 minutes, just do it. You will feel the difference.
6. Digital Detox- It is easy to get sucked into the internet. Set aside time daily to disconnect from the phone and the internet to engage in offline activities you enjoy.
7. Journaling- Spend a few minutes each day journaling your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to process emotions and gain clarity.
8. Social Connections- Make time to connect with friends and family, even if it’s just a quick phone call or text. No one is ever too busy.
9. Disconnect and Stop- If you have been working at something draining your energy, disconnect for 5-10 minutes. Or if you are running around all over the place. Stop for 5-10 minutes. This will refresh you.

The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is a primary aspect of self-care. Boundaries help protect our time, energy, and well-being by defining what you are willing to accept and what you are not. A crucial aspect of self-care is learning to set healthy boundaries. This means saying no to requests that overload your schedule or drain your energy. It also involves communicating your needs clearly and assertively to others.

Respect your schedule.

I’m not saying you don’t need to bend and extend your schedule sometimes, but your passion, love, and sincerity for your work can become a consistent habit or cause you to overextend yourself.

Passion, sincerity, and love are untamed emotions that need to be harnessed and controlled because they can make you extend yourself to a point where it becomes detrimental. Remember, it’s all about balance. It’s all about helping people and getting your work done but not changing to the point where it’s not helping you.

Here are some tips for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries:

1. It is OK to Say No: It’s okay to decline requests or commitments you’re uncomfortable with or simply don’t have time for.

1. Protect Your Time: Don’t let others encroach on your time. Reserve certain hours for relaxation and self-care. Like driving your car, you must stop for gas to refuel.
2. Communicate Your Needs: Be open about your needs. Others may not realize they’re overstepping your boundaries unless you tell them.
3. Delegate Tasks- Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks or ask for help when needed.
4. Take Time for Yourself- Schedule regular “me time” to recharge and unwind.

Self-Care is Not Selfish

Self-care is about taking care of your own needs and wants. It’s about recognizing when you need to rest, relax, and recharge. It’s not about being self-centered or neglecting others. Instead, it’s about ensuring you’re in the best possible condition to help and support others. Remember, you can’t fill a cup from an empty pitcher nor overfill a full cup with everything you have.

Remember, self-care is a constant journey, not a destination. It’s about making consistent choices that nurture your mind, body, and soul.

Check out my book Eat to Win for weeks of nutritional plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And Blended Bliss if you love smoothies!

Check out my INSTANT STRENGTH book for total strength, speed, and power programs.

To maximize stability, mobility, and flexibility, check out my book, THE BALANCED BODY.

To see great exercises, methods, and techniques videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel, BALANCED BODY.

Open communication about mental health, particularly in the context of anxiety and depression, is essential. The power of communication helps you to open up and feel better. Conversely, internalizing depression and anxiety makes you feel closed and alone. For this reason, practical strategies that foster conversations promote understanding, empathy, and healing.

Remember, you’re not alone; seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

The Mind’s Power in Shaping Reality and Success

Your mind is an incredibly powerful tool. It processes information and shapes your perceptions, beliefs, and, ultimately, your reality. How you think about yourself, your goals, and your world profoundly impacts your actions and outcomes.

Creating Beliefs

Your beliefs are the foundation of your reality. They act as filters, influencing how you interpret events and information. If you believe you are capable and deserving of success, you are more likely to pursue your goals with confidence and perseverance. Conversely, depression and anxiety limit your beliefs and can hold you back, creating prophecies of failure.

What is Anxiety?

Difficulty expressing thoughts and feelings: Anxiety can make it hard to articulate thoughts and feelings clearly, leading to misunderstandings or avoidance of conversations altogether.

Fear of judgment: A heightened fear of judgment can lead to overthinking and self-doubt, making it difficult to share openly. It creates confusion to express yourself.

Avoidance of social situations: Anxiety can cause individuals to avoid social interactions. This will impact social development and limit opportunities for open communication.

Signs of Depression

Loss of interest: Depression causes people to lose interest in many things, including sports, training, socializing, and connecting with others. The most important aspect is that it leads to withdrawal and isolation.

Difficulty concentrating: Depression makes it difficult to focus and concentrate, making it hard to pay attention, follow conversations, remember, or express oneself clearly.

Fatigue and low energy: Feeling tired and low energy can make communication feel like a burden. However, you need to communicate because it lifts all the heavy emotional anchors weighing you down, helping you feel better.

Negative thoughts: Negative thoughts and self-criticism can create a barrier to open communication.

Promoting Open Communication

Despite these challenges, open communication is possible and crucial for managing anxiety and depression. Learning to communicate effectively while experiencing anxiety or depression can be challenging, but it’s possible.

Here are some tips to help you on your journey:

1. Recognize the impact: Understand what is making you feel anxiety or depression. When you understand the cause, you can take the necessary steps to communicate and get positive results. Recognizing the cause is the first step toward positive changes.

2. Confide: Confide with someone you trust and can talk to. It can be a teacher, coach, friend, or parent. If you don’t get what’s bothering you off your chest and out of your mind, it will make you feel heavy and disrupt your feelings, sports performance, and life.

3. Be kind to yourself: Don’t be too hard on yourself if communication doesn’t come easily. Remember that you’re learning and improving with each interaction. When you learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, you realize there is no reason to be uncomfortable and create mental strength.

4. Learn to respond how you want: Respond with what you want to do positively and proactively. It is okay to say No. Saying no does not make you a bad person. Learn to say “no” when you need to. It’s OK to prioritize your well-being and decline requests that might overwhelm you or not make you feel good about yourself.

5. Consider therapy: A therapist can provide personalized guidance and support in developing effective communication skills. They can teach you coping mechanisms for managing anxiety or depression and help you build confidence in expressing yourself.

Remember:

• You are not alone. Millions of people experience mental health challenges.
• It’s okay to ask for help. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not embarrassment.

Number 1 Thing to Combat Depression and Anxiety

Physical activity is now seen as far superior to any pill to counter psychological issues like depression and anxiety. Physical activity makes you feel good, confident, social, and positive. And most importantly, it helps you to communicate.

Physical activity provides numerous benefits for mental health and strength stemming from various interconnected factors:

1. Endorphin Release: Exercise releases endorphins, often called “feel-good” chemicals. These natural neurotransmitters promote feelings of happiness, reduce stress, enhance social interaction, and alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety.
2. Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Physical activity helps regulate cortisol, the stress hormone. By lowering cortisol levels, exercise can decrease feelings of anxiety and stress.
3. Improved Self-Esteem: Engaging in sports and activities helps children develop new skills, achieve goals, and build confidence in their abilities. This, in turn, boosts their self-esteem and overall sense of well-being, overcoming depression.
4. Social Interaction: Many physical activities involve teamwork and social interaction, which fosters connections with peers and reduces feelings of loneliness or isolation.
5. Enhanced Cognitive Function: Exercise improves cognitive function, which includes better focus, memory, and academic performance.
• It enhances blood flow, delivering nutrients and oxygen for brain function.
• Exercise stimulates and develops new brain cells and strengthens connections between existing ones.
• Exercise improves the release of neurotransmitters, like dopamine and serotonin, which play a role in learning and memory.
6. Better Sleep: Consistent physical activity promotes better sleep patterns, which are crucial for emotional regulation and mental well-being.
7. Stress Resilience: Physical activity can help develop coping mechanisms for stress and challenges, leading to greater resilience in adversity.

The worrying cycle is a symptom of anxiety and depression that blocks your potential. And physical activity is a natural wonder drug that boosts it!

Understand that anxiety and depression are not who you are. From years of training high school students and athletes, I have seen how all these combined effects positively impacted and changed their mental health and well-being in life and sport.

You don’t have to be an athlete or on a sports team; just regular exercise, like running around, helps. That good feeling produced from running around will inspire you to want to do more. It always happens.

Check out my INSTANT STRENGTH book for total strength, speed, and power programs.

To maximize stability, mobility, and flexibility, check out my book, THE BALANCED BODY.

To see great exercises, methods, and techniques videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel, BALANCED BODY.

The demand for high expectations can set anyone up for failure, especially for youth athletes who are not mentally tough or not accustomed to being pushed into a level of discomfort, like tryouts.

For some, participating in strenuous activities brings a stressful sense of urgency in the form of stage fright, headaches, continuous perspiration, numerous trips to the bathroom (all forms of anxiousness, nervousness, and scared feelings) performance anxiety equating to the pressure to perform.

The expectation of performance and fear of failure cripples athletes at all levels due to the worthiness of impressing a coach, parent, siblings, scouts, and teammates, often sometimes sabotaging their performance due to a lack of confidence.

Developing concrete yet consistent strategies to counteract mental setbacks can help athletes have a better experience while succeeding in their sport. In addition, assisting an athlete in identifying various triggers can help change how an athlete performs. For example, some strategies might come from practicing with those (parents, teammates, or friends from an opposing team) willing to participate, or mindset strategies that will help the athlete focus on the task and not comparison.

More importantly, talking to experienced athletes who have been in similar positions should document a consistent strategy, a plan of preparation “drills and exercises” to encourage success. Furthermore, having a plan is vital in keeping yourself calm and focused, which will enhance your capabilities despite your feelings.

Concentration, calmness, and confidence also can help one avoid the traps of focusing on the wrong things before and during the tryouts. Instead, focus on what you can control, and things might come to you easier because nothing can be achieved without practice.

Here are several tips to help anyone have success during tryouts.

Get a good night’s sleep; at least 8 hours.

Athletes that train and participate in games should sleep about an hour extra, when applicable.

Make Film study a priority.

A visualization mindset is a vital tool used by highly successful people.

Drink plenty of water, consume fruits and veggies.

Water is most healthful; more importantly, athletes can stay hydrated by adding fruits and vegetables.

Get a massage or stretch therapy.

Massages improve an athlete’s range of motion, soft tissue function, athletic performance, and decrease delayed onset muscle soreness, in addition to stiffness and fatigue after a performance.

Hit the weight room; it breeds confidence.

Exercise will certainly boost your self-esteem.

Don’t focus on your competition.

Focusing on your competition prevents original ideas and creativity. As a result, you are missing out on the best athlete you could be.

Know your weaknesses.

Knowing your weaknesses is equal to knowing your strengths for success.

Pay attention to what’s going on.

Distractions often derail individuals; therefore, directing your attention to your priorities will allow you to accomplish the unthinkable.

Listen to feedback.

It’s not uncommon to hate constructive criticism; however, criticism can be your best lesson. It’s a sign that someone loves you and cares.

Be coachable.

Coaches love coachable athletes; it improves their willingness to learn, takes your ability to the next level, and helps you attain achievable goals.

Understand The Power of Self Talk

Self-talk can assist in correcting negative thoughts and coping during difficult tryouts. Self-encouragement can go a long way before and after. It allows one to accomplish obtainable goals.

Have fun!

Always have the mindset to learn and increase in established mental abilities.

CLICK HERE to learn more about mental health in sports or HERE for more about tryouts.

What you do at halftime makes a considerable difference in your second-half performance. Most times, players are just sitting around or doing light warmups, waiting for the game to restart. But what if there were some mental techniques that you could do to boost your performance in the second half?

Many professional and collegiate football teams practice mindfulness training, like the Seattle Seahawks and the University of Miami. Mindfulness and meditation have been found and used to optimize and maximize athletic performance.

Are mindfulness and meditation the key to athletic excellence? It looks like the answer is yes based on this mindfulness study.

Mindfulness Study

The researchers wanted to see how to improve the performance of competitive men’s soccer players at the start of the second half. They noticed that a player’s total distance and speed were diminished within the first 15 minutes of second-half play. Seventeen participants completed a mindfulness exercise after the first half. So instead of sitting around drinking water or stretching, they had the players listen to an audio clip about travel.

However, before the study, they took cognitive and memory tests, salivary cortisol, and blood lactate levels and evaluated mental fatigue. They were all measured before the game and at halftime to see how well and if the technique would work.

As a result, the mindfulness training enhanced the player’s performance in the first 15 minutes of the second half. It boosted mental acuity, reflexes, reaction time, and accuracy. They also experienced less fatigue. In addition, the researchers’ samples showed reduced cortisol levels.

Scientists conclude that athletes could maintain or even improve their performance by using mindful mental recovery strategies to reinvigorate their cognitive demands that help replenish physical strength.

Here are some ways to incorporate halftime mindfulness practices.

1. Diaphragmatic Breathing Exercises
2. Body Scanning
3. Muscle Relaxation
4. Sport-Specific Visualization Techniques
5. Music

How Does It Work?

Anxiety, nervousness, and emotions interfere with physical performance. The more relaxed your mind is, the longer you can play and the more focused you will be. The mind definitely affects your physical potential.

In addition, meditation and mindfulness help you stay in the flow or zone state of mind. Also known as the theta brain. Theta brain activity is significantly increased during mindfulness and meditation. It is the state between being awake and asleep. The reason it is the way you get into your zone state of mind.

Mindfulness and meditation also improve the connection between all the pathways and networks in your brain.

Here Are a Few Mindfulness Routines

The mindful meditation routine you choose depends on your sport. For example, Focused Attention Meditation (FAM) requires the athlete to focus on a specific object. This type of training is great for golfers, archers, and gymnastics.

The other is Open Awareness Meditation (OAM). OAM instead requires players to concentrate and hone-in on everything that is happening around them. All their experiences need to be non-judgmental and relaxed. OAM is excellent for sports like soccer, volleyball, baseball, football, etc.

Here is a sample FAM training session.

And one for OAM Training.

There are many mindful meditation techniques you can do. FAM and OAM are just a few examples. Understand when you are in the “zone,” you will perform and play at your best and highest potential.

The relationship between mindfulness/meditation and performance is new and making significant strides that are positively working to boost an athlete’s performance. So far, researchers can confirm that mindfulness enhances self-confidence and the flow/zone state. Also, it reduces sports and personal anxieties.

If you spend a game warming the bench, it can be frustrating. If you spend a season warming the bench, you have become better at precisely one thing: increasing the wood temperature. Every player, including Aaron Rodgers and Michael Jordan, has sat watching their teammates play at some point in their career. No one expects you to enjoy the situation, but how you handle it can stand you in good stead with your current coach and, more importantly, keep you involved in the sport for longer.

How much is enough playing time?

The answer is different at different levels of development. For young players learning the game, the answer is simple: you need to play. If you are only getting a few minutes here and there, you should consider moving to a different team or even sport, where you can get game time and have fun. Good coaches and teams recognize the need for everyone to play and be involved, which may mean running additional teams. At an early age, it should not be about winning championships but encouragement and participation.

In middle school, when children start to make more of their own decisions about sport, the two questions I would ask are:

1. Am I having fun?
2. Am I getting better?

If the answer to both of these is, ‘yes, then you are in a good place. You are enjoying the sport and improving. This is a perfect place to be, even if you aren’t the starter. However, people can get into your mind: teachers, parents, and other adults can all add their opinions, whether helpful or informed or not.

“You should be getting more game time,” and ”I don’t know why the coach is playing X. You clearly should be starting.” Those may seem positive but can give you a sense of either entitlement or resentment. Neither are positive character traits.

Coaches sometimes make mistakes on selection. They are human beings, after all. They may be focused on winning the match this weekend rather than looking after your future career.

If you are not improving and think lack of game time is the reason, you may have to switch clubs. However, at this level, that is more difficult.

Look In The Mirror

The hardest thing to do is look in the mirror and say, ‘What can I do to get better?’ Some things are out of your control: height, muscle fiber type, your parents, and being drafted by an NFL team with a 3-time league MVP starting at quarterback ahead of you (Brett Favre). But many things are within your control, and it is best to focus on those things rather than what you can not control. Here are three of them:

• Do I work harder than any other player? (Effort is entirely within your control).
• Do I know what I need to do to improve? (I might need to ask the coach this).
• Am I a good teammate? (Being nice and supportive will encourage other players to involve you and help you get better. It will definitely be noticed that you are a good ‘locker room’ person).

I was rarely penciled in as a starter when I was competing, and I spent many fruitless hours fretting about being selected. Remember that, unless your Mom or Dad is the coach, you are not in control of team selection: the coach is. You can choose to improve and get better and give the coach no choice but to select you, or you can gripe and whine and look for someone else to blame.

Sometimes, you do have to change teams to get more playing time, but that should be a second or third resort. The first is to look to work harder and get better. The second is to be patient and bide your time. You are only one tackle or one ‘flu bug away from being called on to replace the player ahead of you.

Make sure you are ready for it. And enjoy the time with your teammates while you can.

Read More:

• 20 Tips to Help Your Athlete Get Off the Bench
• How Kids Can Tell If Their Coach Cares
• How to Develop a Successful Mindset for a Youth Athlete